Mister Mom
by Mrs Don Draper
Summary: ***ABANDONED*** What if, when Locke moved the wheel, instead of making them stop jumping through time, it turned everyone but him into children? Will he be able to play Mr. Mom to children 10 and under? Will Richard be able to help them?
1. He Just HAD to Move the Wheel

Ben cackled, "Now I have shot down your megatron droid and victory shall be **mine**!" His hands clicked excitedly over the Playstation remote, his beady pupils fixated on the bright, flashing screen.

"What the hell, Ben?! That was your own droid! Are you retarded?" hollered Jack.

Jack hated playing Transformers with Ben because he ended up killing his own guys.

"I'm gonna see if Hurley wants to play with me," said Jack, clearly mad.

Ben huffed. "You _never _wanna play with me! I'm telling on you!"

"Ben, shut up, or you'll go in the time out corner!" yelled Locke.

He came around the corner wearing a frilly pink apron on over his muddy hunting clothes. He wore lavender oven mitts too because he was holding a tray of chocolate chip cookies. Ben gaped as his remote slipped from his loosened hands; it clattered on the floor.

"Cookies!" he shrilled happily.

Ben slowly made his way towards Locke, his eyes round and staring. Suddenly, a figure zoomed past him, grabbed the tray and ran away with an evil laugh. The cookies were gone!

"Where. Are. The. COOKIES?!" he screamed, crying.

Locke rolled his eyes. "Sayid, get over here now!"

Sayid trudged back with empty hands. "What?"

"OO tole uh ooees," said Hurley through a mouthful of sandwich. (Translation: You stole the cookies)

"I did not take the treats. Scouts honor," he defended himself.

"Just great. I've got a roomful of children and I get stuck playing Mr. Mom?" thought Locke, "I bet Jacob thinks this is pretty damn funny."

Out loud he said, "Everyone in the living room!"

Sayid, Jack, Kate, Hurley, Charlie, Claire, Sawyer, Sun, and Jin all came running. The sat down on the floor, ten cherubic faces (if you count Ben as cherub-like) peered up at Locke with wide-eyed wonder. He stretched out his now lavender-oven-mittless free hand.

"I want to see those cookies on the dining room table in two minutes or else there will be no play time outside after lunch." His stern sounding voice caused several of the children to flinch. No one spoke.

"It all depends on what we're having for lunch," said Charlie.

"Look, I need to know by lunch because Richard wants me to meet him the Orchid so we can fix you all back to normal."

"Bein' a kid's a lot easier cuz it means I ain't gotta listen to Jackass no more," drawled Sawyer.

"What did I say about language Sawyer? It upsets Claire," reprimanded Locke, seeing her tears.

Charlie frowned. "Well then. I'm innocent, so I don't care. But if I don't have play time, I'm gonna beat up the cookie stealer."

"Mr. Locke, my blankie got ripped when Sawyer used it as a tent. Please fix it," Claire whimpered.

"Give it here."

"Hey, uh, John, is that a polar bear over there?" asked Ben.

When his back was turned, everyone but Claire had run away. Locke turned back and he threw up his hands.

"Dang it, that's the fifth time this week!"

He tied the blanket carefully through his belt loop.

"C'mon Claire. Let's go find them."

She took her free hand and grasped the blankie, her teddy bear trailing on the ground as she followed Locke.


	2. Two Days Earlier

Two Days Earlier

"You really gonna go down that well?" asked adult Sawyer.

"I have to make the wheel stop jumping us through time," he answered.

He made it safely down by shimmying down the rope. A dark figure rounded the tunnel.

"Holy crap! Who the hell are you?!" yelled Locke in fear.

"You should know." Christian poked his head around the corner.

Locke raised an eyebrow. "Why are you here?"

Christian answered, "To warn you."

"About what?"

"About spinning that wheel."

Locke rolled his eyes. "Well, spit it out!"

Christian nodded. "If you spin the wheel, the others will suffer…Hey, is that a polar bear?"

When Locke wasn't looking, Christian disappeared. Locke turned back and saw no one there. He shrugged. "Well _that _was vague." He shrugged again and pushed the wheel back into place. He was suddenly knocked back by a boom and a flash. His last thought before blacking out was, "Omg!"

When he woke up, he was out of the well and in his house in Othersville. The first thing he saw was ten little children crowded around his bed. When he sat up, six of them screamed and all of them ran.

"What is going on here?!" he yelled. "Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccoooooooobbbbbb!!!"

He got up to see if he really had seen what he though he saw…if that makes any sense. He was stopped by who he guessed was Sayid.

"John, did you fix the wheel?"

"Ummmmmmmm…" He couldn't think of an answer because at that moment he heard a yell. Locke started running down the hallway with Little Sayid in tow.

"You _are_ Sayid, right?" asked Locke.

He looked up at him like he was an idiot. "Yes, I am Sayid. Who else would I be?"

"Have you seen yourself lately?" asked Locke.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, getting worried.

"You're a child."

Sayid ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror above the sink. However, he could barely reach over the top of then sink. He gaped at Locke.

Sayid screamed, "What's wrong with me?!"

Hugo toddled in, "Dude, why are you yelling?"

Sayid's little hands shook Hurley by the shoulders, "Do you not see?!"

"See wha--, Dude! Locke! What's going on man?" asked Hurley.

"I don't know yet, but I think we should find everyone else," said Locke.

He decided to check in the guest bedroom closet first. He saw a sandy head scoot further back behind a few jackets.

"Sawyer, come out of the closet."

"No way. You come get me, Mr. Clean," challenged Little Sawyer.

Locke rolled his eyes. Leave it Sawyer to make things more difficult.

Locke raised his voice, "James, come out of there, NOW!"

Sighing, Sawyer crawled out from the closet full of coats. Sayid waved to Sawyer.

"What do you want, Ali?" he bit.

Sayid frowned. "Have any of you seen the rest of you?" asked Locke as a distraction before a fight broke out and before someone got tied to a tree or something.

He heard a giggle from under the bed.

"Jack? Is that you," said Locke. It wasn't a question; he could tell it was Jack because he recognized his laugh.

"Noooooooo!" the voice answered.

Locke sighed and got down on his hands and knees. He crawled the short distance to the bed. He lifted up the sheet touching the floor. He saw a little figure inch even further back to the wall. Locke stuck his hands under, grabbed a limb, and pulled Jack out.

"No! Let me go! Mommy!" yelled Little Jack, "I don't like this game anymore!"

"Calm down, Jack."

Jack then started yelling something he had heard on TV before, "Rape! Rape!" His arms flailed.

Sawyer snapped, "I bet you don't even _know _what rape _is_, dummy."

jack let out a huff. When everyone went back to looking around the room, Sawyer slipped away. He walked into the kitchen.

"You can climb off the fridge now, Freckles."

Kate's head peaked over the edge.

"He ain't gonna hurt us, ya know. He wants to help us get back to normal," he assured her.

Kate sighed. Something in her mind told her to trust him. She clambered off the top of the fridge. Sawyer smirked. Ben pushed open a cupboard door that he was hidden behind and unfolded himself into the kitchen.

Sun and Jin peaked their head our from under the table. "Is the bald one gone?" Sun asked in Korean.

"What are you sayin'?" asked Sawyer.

"Dude, she's speaking Korean," said Hurley.

"Where were you hiding, Lardo?"

Hurley frowned slightly, "The double cupboard under the sink." He pointed behind him.

"Of _course_, the _double _cupboard…Shoulda guessed."

Just then, Locke walked into the kitchen, Claire holding his hand and the boys following behind.

"Look, everyone, we need to get you all back to adults. I can't help you unless you cooperate and trust me. Can you do that?" asked Locke, "Or else your bed time will be at 7:30."

He was answered with vigorous nods.

"Thank _God_!" he thought.


	3. The First Flash

Two Days Later

Locke pushed open the bathroom door and began looking through all the various hiding spots. He mumbled to himself angrily. "Where the hell could they be?"

"Isn't that them by the swings?" asked Claire, pointing out the window.

He looked out and saw Hurley on a swing with Sawyer, Sayid, and Jack trying to push him. Everyone else was watching the spectacle. Everyone, that is, but Ben. He slipped away into the woods. Locke walked out side and went over to Sayid.

"Will you watch everyone for a little bit?"

Sayid's big eyes were questioning, but he nodded. Locke slipped into step behind Ben without making a noise. They didn't stop walking for 108 minutes.

"Oh. My. God. That is so totally like the hatch!" thought Locke to himself.

"Why are you following me, John?" asked even Littler Ben.

He looked down at Ben. "Well, I'm supposed to be watchin' you and takin' care of you."

"What about the other nine children you left alone?"

"Ummmm, I left Sayid n charge."

"You left a ten year old in charge of eight other children who would be defenseless against an attack?"

"Yyyyyyeeeeessssss," answered Locke.

"And to think Richard wanted to take you under his wing," Ben said tauntingly.

Locke growled and grabbed Ben by his shirt and started walking briskly back towards Othersville.

"Lemme go! Lemme go! You're a Meany! No fair!" cried Littler Ben.

"You were going after the cookies, weren't you?"

"What's it to you? I'm not sharing them. And anyway, Sayid stole them for me, so punish him too!" Ben stuck out his tongue.

Locke sighed. "You'll learn soon enough."

He continued to drag Ben back with him, holding him by the shirt as the young evil mastermind thrashed and screeched like a crazed monkey.

"I won't forget this, John!" he yelled, finally giving in to Locke's demand.

"Maybe I'll just keep you as a little kid so that you won't be a creepy twelve year old and then a psychotic middle aged man…" thought Locke, going off on a tangent in his head.

"John! Yo! John! Come back to reality now," said Ben, snapping his fingers in John's face.

He came back to reality, blinking a couple of times. He glared at Ben, silencing him with a look. When they arrived back, the nine children flocked to him and began to laugh at Ben, who was dangling from Locke's arms.

"Sayid, come to the living room with Ben and I. We need to have a little chat."

"So you _did _take the biscuits! You're a bloody liar!" pouted Charlie.

Sawyer smirked. "Ben always knows how to get Sayid to do stuff for 'im."

Sayid ignored him and followed them into the house. Locke sat down in the big chair and gestured to the couch beside him. "Have a seat, boys."

"I deny having anything to do with the stealing of the cookies," said Ben, starting to defend himself.

"But you got Sayid to do it _for _you…which is just as bad. Why'd you let him boss you around like that, Sayid?"

"He said that when we get back to normal, that would give me a million dollars!" exclaimed Sayid, eyes sparkling.

Ben smirked. "What's a chump!" he thought.

Unfortunately, he had thought out loud and realized it when he saw Sayid's betrayed glare and Locke's amused grin.

Sayid pointed. "He's a _bad _man, John!"

Locke exhaled noisily. "I know."

"Hey! I'm right here, you know!"

Sayid had a suggestion. "I say we handcuff him to a tree."

"Oh crap," thought Ben.

Locke shook his head. "No, we can't do that. I looks like it's gonna rain today. We'll put him in the time out corner for an hour instead."

Ben's jaw slackened and he sputtered indignantly at the injustice being done to him.

"Awwww! But I already have the reeds ready made!" whined Sayid.

"What, you kept those?" asked Sawyer, who had been secretly spying on the three the whole time.

"Yes. You never know when someone needs to be taught a lesson."

Sawyer frowned. "You're one messed up eight year old." He walked away.

Sayid shrugged and looked at Locke. "I guess that time out will be acceptable."

Locked nodded. He called in the other young children after he had settled the punishment for Ben and finished talking to Sayid. They all dashed in excitedly before the raindrops began to water the ground.

"Are you, like, still going to Richard's, dude?" asked Hurley.

"It's dangerous enough when it's dry outside, let alone when it's dark and raining. We might have to wait until tomorrow. Unless the rain stops soon."

"I'm scared," said Claire, holding on to Locke's leg.

He patted her head. "You'll be ok, Claire."

Charlie walked over and picked up her teddy, handing it out to her. "You dropped this."

"My teddy!" she squeaked, hugging Charlie, "Thank you!"

Sawyer rolled his eyes and tried to think of a game they could play. "Let's play Red Rover or somethin'."

"We need to break into groups of five. Me, Claire, Jin, Charlie, and Sun will be a team. And Sayid, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley and I guess Ben can be on the other team," ordered Jack, taking charge.

"I thought Ben was in trouble," said Charlie.

"He can play and then he'll get his timeout," said Locke.

Ben did a little victory dance.

"Ha ha, Jack, we got Freckles!" taunted Sawyer.

Jack pouted a little, but quietly grabbed hands with his team. They formed two lines on opposite ends of the room.

Sawyer called out first. "Red Rover, Red Rover, send **Jin **right over!"

Jin dashed over and failed to break the hand chain. He joined Sawyer's team and held Sayid's offered open hand.

"Red Rover, Red Rover, let Say_**id **_come over!" Suddenly a ball of energy busted between Kate and Hurley.

"I choose Kate to be on my team," said Sayid

Kate smiled; Sayid was her buddy.

"Ha ha, Sawyer, _we _have Kate now!" taunted Jack.

Sawyer grumbled, "No fair!"

Kate beamed at all the attention. "Sayid's turn!"

He nodded. "Red rover, Red rover, send Hur_**ley **_right over!" Then his eyes widened as he realized that that was a foolish choice as Hurley began to bound over to them. Sayid's whole teamed screamed and let go of each other's hands as Hurley neared them. Hurley dropped his head and stopped walking, visibly hurt.

Charlie smiled and linked his hands back up with Jack's. "C'mon, Hurley. Come break us!"

Hurley grinned and rushed through, severing Charlie and Jack's hands. He brought Charlie back with him.

Then, without warning, a boom sounded throughout the whole room. All the kids yelled. A flash whited out the entire room. When it was over, everyone rubbed their eyes.


	4. Don't Tell Me What I can't Do!

"Dude, we're bigger now!" exclaimed Hurley.

"Guess we're teens," said Kate.

"So, like, what now?"

"WWJD?" asked Charlie. (Translation: What would Jesus Jack do?)

"I don't know! Ask him yourself," grumbled sawyer.

Claire continued to hold onto her teddy bear, even though now it was technically an "emo bear."

Ben gaped at Hurley. He was, shockingly, much thinner than usual.

He smiled. "I had a thin phase."

"I was just a bit surprised, Hugo," said Ben by means of an explanation.

Hurley understood; most people were. No big deal.

"Well, well, well Freckles. Guess you was _always_ pretty," said Sawyer.

Kate smiled, showing off her braces. He started laughing at her.

"It's not funny James!" Kate yelled, "I'm going to my room!"

"Kate that's _my _room," called Locke down the hall. He received no answer.

Claire, going through her gothic, rebellious phase, decided to sulk in a corner. Charlie strummed his guitar and started yet another rendition of _You All Everybody_, but this time his voice cracked. His teenage self's voice hadn't changed yet. Everyone got a kick out of this.

Locke, on the other hand, was praying that the rain would stop so that he could go see Richard and fix this mess. He was looking out the window when a lightning bolt flashed across the sky, making the room go white, yet again. When it ended, they teens were back to being children again.

"Dude, what was that?"

"The flashes are getting closer together now. We need move, rain or no rain," answered Locke.

"How you gonna keep us all together?" asked Sawyer smugly.

He had an idea. "Bring me some rope.

Luckily, Sayid happened to "find" a length of rope in his bag. Locke tied each kid to the rope by their wrist, alternating which side each one would stand on.

"It's too tight!" shouted Kate, "I can't feel my fingers!"

"Korean! Korean!" agreed Sun and Jin.

"Yeah, you can't do this to us!" said Jack.

"_Don't tell me what I can't do!_"

"Oh, for the love of God, John. Where do you think we're going to go?" asked Ben.

"Well, you ran off, didn't you? Children are easily distracted and prone to wandering."

Ben shut his mouth. Hurley cheered, "Yeah, Locke just treated you, man."

"I'll remember this, Hugo…"

"Silence is golden," began Locke, "and duct tape is silver." He then covered Ben's mouth with a piece of tape.

Sawyer snickered. "Too bad there isn't enough tape to cover Jumbotron's fa--."

He too was cut off by tape covering his mouth. He made muffled, angry noises, eyebrows meeting in a look of rage. It gave Locke the shivers.

"No! Let him go! Don't hurt him," pleaded Kate.

"Kate, I thought _I _was your boyfriend today," Jack said disbelievingly.

"I love him!"

Everyone's eyes widened in shock. They all knew that the three of them were in a love triangle, both men, er, boys, fighting for her attentions. They all wanted to know who she would pick.

"Whoa…déjà vu," thought Locke, thinking back to Season 3, episode "I Do."

Jack's eyes began to water. "B-but, I shared my juice box with you."

She shrugged. "Sorry."

Hurley then said, "You're lyin'. Locke, she's not telling the truth."

"Hurley, man, just stay out of the love triangle. I've seen things get messy before," said Charlie.

"Ok, we're going now whether or not Kate is lying," replied Locke, picking up the rope and pulling them along.

The complaining began almost immediately.

_My feet hurt._

_I'm thirsty._

_Are we there yet?_

_Korean! Korean!_

_Do you even know where you're going?_

"Everyone needs to stop whining or you might alert the Smoke Monster," ordered Locke, giving a perfunctory tug on the rope.

"John, only **I **can summon the Smo--," started Ben, but was silenced by another piece of tape over his mouth. Locke had no idea how he'd managed to pull it off without him noticing.

"Anyone else have a smart remark? No? Then let's keep moving."

They hadn't gotten more than a few miles when they heard someone crying from somewhere out in the jungle.


	5. A Cry in the Jungle

Two Days Earlier

A flash and a boom knocked Juliet off her feet and she blacked out when her head hit a rock. She had no idea how long she had been out for when she suddenly saw Charlotte, Miles, and Dan trying to wake her up…At least, she _thought _that's who was around her. But they were smaller, younger looking too. Dan's disturbing facial hair was just _gone_.

Juliet sat up quickly. She realized that this had to be a mistake, an Island trick, as a headache began to pound through her skull.

"What's going on?" she squeaked, sounding about thirty years younger.

"Juliet, you need to calm down. You've had a nasty fall," said seven-year-old Charlotte.

"I'll say," she said, holding her head, "Why are we kids?"

"Well, uh, when John pushed the wheel back he, uh, stopped the flashes…but he also reversed our pituitary glands, so now we're children," answered Dan.

Juliet sighed. "So what now?"

Miles rolled his eyes. _Juliet's little kid voice was soooo freaking annoying!_

"Shut up, Miles!" scolded Charlotte.

He _really _needed to learn to keep his mouth shut before the ice princess blew a gasket.

"Um…Maybe we should, uh, get back to the Dharma houses?"

"Guess so. Locke'll probably know what's going on."

"Does anyone know which way we're supposed to go?" asked Dan.

"Follow me," said Juliet with another sigh, "I know this place like the back of my hand."


	6. And Then There Were 14

Two Days Later

The exhausted children walked back to the small clearing, Miles grimacing.

"Juliet, we're walking in circles!" He threw his hands up in the air.

"I swear that we're getting close."

Charlotte looked at her. "If you swear, I'm telling John on you."

"You're so literal Charlotte. Just relax while I get my bearings again," Juliet replied.

She walked a little way away from the group, looking for the familiar markings that led to the Others' compound. As she searched, she tried to ignore the three children whispering behind her.

Charlotte mumbled, "I don't have a good feeling about this. In fact, I don't feel good at all."

Suddenly, she fell backwards, blood trailing from her nose. Daniel began to yell, and Miles clapped his hands over his ears.

"What happened to her?" he yelled over the noise.

Juliet came running back. "What's the matter?"

When she saw Charlotte lying on the ground, she went into full doctor mode, rushing to her side right away. The first thing she noticed was her nose bleed. Those were supposed to stop once Locke had "fixed" the wheel. Just as she got out a rag to wipe the blood away, she heard a rustling noise from the bushes behind her.

Daniel started crying, "She's gonna die! She's gonna die!"

Locke emerged from the bush the line of children behind him, no longer fastened to his belt loop after Ben had stolen one of knives from his pocket. The children refused to be on his pseudo chain gang any longer.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"Oh, John, thank God. Where's Jack? Charlotte's hurt," explained Juliet.

"I can fix her!" he announced, hands on hips.

Jack moved over to where Dan was standing and shifted him aside to get a look at his latest patient. He pinched her nose which helped the bleeding to stop.

"You should try to wake her up. I'll hold her and you give her a gentle shake."

Dan barely poked her shoulder.

"It didn't work! She's dead!"

Miles walked over to her. "Let me try."

He proceeded to smack her across the face. She sputtered awake with a gasp.

"Hey! That bloody hurt, you wanker!"

Jack frowned. "That _was not _gentle."

He then turned his attention back to the redhead. "Are you ok? How are you feeling?

"I've been better, and my face feels like a train hit it, but I suppose I'm alright."

"Good. Then I guess we should get going, right John?"

Locke nodded. "It's a few hours 'til sundown, so we've got time. We should keep moving; Richard's expecting us."

"And you're sure he can help us?" asked Sayid.

Dan decided to answer this one. "From what I've heard…the Orchid has time traveling properties and, uh, if we can find a way to harness that energy, I should be able to fix us."

Miles rolled his eyes. "Is it gonna work as well as when you tried to wake up Charlotte?"

She tossed him an angry glare, and he felt a chill go up his spine.

"Uh, science, _physics_, is more my thing. I don't really spend alot of time waking up women as an adult. So I think you should, uh, back off."

This made Charlotte smile. Sometimes he would come through and stand up for himself and this made her so proud of him. "Thank you Daniel."

His face flushed as red as her hair, out of embarrassment of getting a compliment from her. She wasn't one to just dish them out all the time.

"You're, ah, welcome, Charlotte," he answered, looking at his feet.

Sawyer started chuckling through the duct tape still covering his mouth, his shoulders shaking. Juliet removed it from his face to ask, "What's the matter with you?"

"Red made him red!"

She rolled her eyes and slapped the tape back on.

"Ok, seriously guys, cool it with the duct tape," said Jack, taking the tape off for the last time.

"Ya done now?" asked a bored Locke, leaning against a tree.

Having no response, the children and Locke set off again. However, no one have even thought that perhaps Richard had also gone through a transformation of his own.


	7. Metting Richard

_After a long hiatus, I give you chapter seven._

Locke turned to ace the line of children. He brought a finger to his lips.

"Stay quiet and be respectful. Richard is a powerful man," cautioned Locke.

Locke pushed the door open and went inside. He did not have to knock because he was sure Richard would be expecting them after the numerous flashes they had just experienced.

"Richard?"

"I'm in the kitchen, John. Have a seat. The kids need to hear this too."

"_Richard?_ Is that really _you_? What happened?!" exclaimed Juliet, by now familiar with the ageless man.

"It is me, Juliet. I'm like this because John didn't follow Christian's instructions."

He then stepped out of the shadows, and boy did he look different! Richard was stooped over, holding a wooden cane in his hand. His normally jet black hair was now stark white, and his pants were pulled up higher than usual. Richard was an old man!

"But you did do as Christian instructed, right John?" asked Sayid.

Locke shook his head. "He told me not move the wheel…but I did."

It was then that Jin and Sun started yelling at him in Korean.

"You were supposed to take care of us all! We trusted you."

"How dare you do this to us, John Locke?"

One of them suggested getting Charlotte to translate, but everyone was sick of listening to Ben by this point.

"What are they sayin', mate?" asked Charlie to Hurley.

"Don't know dude, but they sound kinda mad. Probably at Locke."

"How the bloody hell can they understand English, but not speak it?"

"Like, maybe the Island gives them powers? You know, like Miles and me can see dead people."

Charlie considered this for a moment before conceding that he was probably right.

Meanwhile, Richard and Locke sat at the kitchen table while the children battled it out. Both men secretly thanked the powers that be that they did not have their own children to look after.

"Why are you here so early, John? Don't you know it's almost dinner time?" asked Richard.

"It's only 4:30."

"Yeah, _dinner _time."

"Ooook…we came hoping you could help us."

"Well let me eat first, then we discuss how we can change them all back."

At the mention of food and dinner, all the children started listening to what the grownups were talking about, abandoning the debate of which was better: Kim Possible or Hey, Arnold. They started picturing their favorite sweets and junk food that they had back home. Kate bravely asked when they could eat, too.

"What would you kids like to eat?" asked Locke.

He was soon bombarded with cries of:

"Chicken McNuggets!"

"Pizza! With pepperoni!"

"I want some mashed potatoes and peas that are soft to chew!" yelled Richard.

"Kraft Mac n' Cheese…'cause I got the blues!"

"Hot pockets!"

"A Happy Meal! I'm lovin' it!"

This was coming from the children who had not had a thing to eat since the breakfast and cookie fiasco that morning. The two men were dismayed. How were they supposed to feed them all?

Locke then yelled, "Quiet down! You will eat what we make, understand?"

After a chorus of a condescending: "So, Mr. Locke," Charlie spoke up, "what _are _you gonna make for us then?'

He turned to Richard and whispered, "What do you have in your fridge?"

"Well, I recently bought a hunk of polar bear meat…"

Locke, knowing the kids would most definitely _not _want to much on a polar bear carcass, put his head in his hands.

Ben was watching closely, and, seeing Locke shows signs of defeat, yelled, "They don't have any food! Tie 'em up!"

Jack slapped Ben across his face, glasses pressed against his nose. "We don't take orders from you anymore!"

Luckily, Locke was thinking on his toes. "I could hunt some boar or other game in the jungle."

He was glad to have remembered how much most them enjoyed the pig when they had first landed on the Island, nearly 100 days ago. He also decided to take Ben—the little troublemaker—along with him. It would be one less nuisance old man Richard would have to worry about. The pair had not gotten very far when all of a sudden, an arrow struck Ben in the shoulder.

"Rousseau! What the hell was that for?" yelled Locke.

She emerged from behind some bushes. They were only a little surprised to find that she was also an eight year old. Ben was afraid of the death glare she gave him and hid behind Locke, grasp his shoulder.

"That was not cool," he scolded.

She laughed in spite of him. "Well I thought it was. The rat deserved it.'

"Well, now we have to get him back to Jack since we know he can fix everything."

"He is an Other, and thus, very dangerous. You will have to go alone while I disappear into the jungle," she answered.

"Oh yeah! I forgot that was your plot line. See you in a few episodes."

"Episodes?" she asked, wary.

"Never mind," he said, shaking his head," Take care."

After that annoying little exchange, Ben asked, "Can we get back to Jack before I die from blood loss now, or are you still busy trying to reason with the crazy jungle woman?"

Just then, Locke pulled a gigantic rabbit from behind his back, a creepy smile on his face. And without further ado, Locke put Ben over one shoulder and held the rabbit in the other and started making his way back to Richard's house. When Ben passed out, Locke became nervous. What if Ben _died_? He was not a very good babysitter. He also did not want to add to the number of dead children he had on his hands—23 to be exact. Ever since that fateful day…


End file.
